Corey Stokes

#debtfree | Corey L. Stokes LLC

written by Corey Stokes and Michelline Stokes

My wife recently said that, Everyone in a relationship has a “Corey and Michelline.” On one hand you have the very intense, get it done person. and on the other hand you have the show me what I have to work with, person. In our journey to live #debtfree, these two people were often butting heads. During a conversation with a mutual friend. We were asked what our first step was to become debt free. Although this is a multilayered answer that comes with two different perspectives it all boils down to one word. Communication.

Living Debt Free — Photo by Maya McMahon

When we first got stared, we didn’t discuss financial matters. Now, it is a topic just like everything else. Once a month we try to have a budget meeting to discuss where money is going or where it needs to go for the upcoming month; and we get it down on paper (or in my case excel). It took us a while to get to this point though.

Our very first step was communication. We needed to know how much money we had coming in. We also needed to figure out what our financial obligations were (What did we have to pay?). Then we placed them in order from smallest to largest and paid the minimum payment on everything.

Once we paid everything, if we had extra we put it in an account ear-marked emergencies. We did that until we came up with the agreed amount (recommended $500 – $1000). Then we took that money and added it to the lowest bill. Then paid that until it was gone. Then we took the extra money + the minimum payment for the smallest bill and paid the next smallest. And kept going like that until we paid everything off. This is called the snowball effect. With each roller over the snowball keeps getting bigger, allowing you to pay more than your minimum payment. BUT the key is to pay the minimum payment on everything except the smallest. That one you attack with your snowball.

Michelline however had a different perspective

“This process was hell for me in the beginning. I hated it!!! But, I understood why we had to do it. He was the “yeah, we’re going to do this and that, and it’s going to take this long” (very intent and intense). Then, there was me! I wasn’t really interested in the process. I was more like, “okay, tell me how much money I have to work with this pay period, and I’ll make it work.” I really could care less about the numbers and all the inner workings of it all. ”

The numbers are what make the formula work. But it is not just about the math, it is also about creating new habits and learning to not spend solely on emotion.

What we both agree on, is that since we’ve become #debtfree, our life has been less stressful. We both will tell you that if we can do it, you can do it too.

What was the first step you took to become debt free?

Announcements

Next blog post I will explain the Our Budget meeting. If you would like to give a quick summary of your Family budget meeting, or even if you have a question on how to start a budgeting meeting for your family or what it should look like, I am available to answer and I will included it in the next post

I will be starting a new service to help you improve your website look feel and producibility. In short I want to help you succeed. My Website Review service, coming on line shortly, is just what you need. Watch for the announcement

In a professional or Social setting, Should men and women shake hands?

When you first meet someone, regardless of gender, is it not common courtesy to offer a handshake along with your greeting?

Recently I read that some women feel that they are being too forward if they offer a handshake to a man, feeling the man may get the wrong idea. At the same time some men don’t feel right offering a handshake to women; but don’t want to neglect her all together. So what is the right thing to do?

According to Author Don Gabor you offer the handshake and leave it to the other person to accept or decline. But at the same token is it not rude to decline a handshake? What is the right thing to do?

Encore Post: Budget is not a 4 Letter Word | Corey L. Stokes LLC

Budget is not a four letter word
Written by Corey Stokes

A few years ago I walked into a store with a friend. I didn’t want to buy anything in particular. But, since I was there I figured I might as well pick up a few items for the house. We completed our shopping and each paid for our items. I then proceeded to enter my charge into my checkbook register. My friend looked at me and said “What are you doing are? Are you that poor, you live on a budget?”

I have met into several people since that day that had the same type of thinking. I’ve even been left out of events, because I’m the guy that “lives on a budget.” When did a budget become a negative thing. It appears the image of the seemingly wealthy, flaunting high-priced items and the ability to spend large sums of money at any given time has made some forget the lessons of their grandparents and great grandparents, such as:

Lesson 1: Always put some away for a rainy day!
Lesson 2: Live on less than you make
Lesson 3: Save for the future.
Lesson 4: Give to a church or a charity

While past generations were taught how to balance a checkbook it seems the current generation is being taught how to juggle credit card balances. As times get harder and harder for many families, credit card balances continue to rise. For those who have made the decision to stop borrowing money at 20-30 percent interest, grandma’s way just seems to make sense! So no, BUDGET is not a four letter word.

What is a budget?
In answering this question, let me ask you, who controls your money? If you live everyday wondering how you are going to make it to the next payday; you are NOT in control of your money. In simple terms a budget is you telling your money what to do. Not your money telling you what it is doing. As financial advisor Dave Ramsey puts it. Give every dollar a name, spend this months money on purpose. Here is an article of how Dave explains it. Dave Ramsey- Do Your Dollars Have a Name?

What does it mean to live on a budget?
As my friend chastised me for entering my purchase in my checkbook register, so do many people have a negative view of what it means to live on a budget. Many hear the term “budget” and automatically think, “you must be poor”. I’ve even heard people who claim to be on a budget say “I can’t afford that, I’m poor, I live on a budget”. POOR, is not a circumstance of your finances… it is a manifestation of a mental handicap. Financial Advisor Susie Orman explains living on a budget as, living on less than you make. She advises people to live on half of their income. Susie Orman – How to live on half of your income

Who lives on a budget?
Normally you tend to hear that people who do not have much money or are living from paycheck to paycheck complain that they are living on a budget. The working class, however is not the only group that lives on a budget. In his book the Millionaire Mind, Thomas Stanley provides several accounts of millionaires that have said they’ve made their millions by being frugal and saving. Even Dave Ramsey makes the claim that rich people tell their money what to do, “that’s how they became rich people.” So if budgeting will get you rich…why then, are so many people reluctant to doing it?

While many people try to create the perfect budget for the perfect month, in doing so, they also set themselves up for failure. A budget is simply a plan. Here is an example:

At the beginning of the month I have, one thousand dollars ($1000). I create my budget to spend the one thousand dollars ($1000) for the month and everything has been paid or is waiting to be paid. One day after work, I don’t feel like cooking, so I go to the local fast food place and I spend $25 for dinner for the family.

In this example, what have I done? I’ve over spent on my budget (lived beyond my means). This one act will possibly will cause a few checks to be returned and cause many bank fees that will put me in the negative more than the twenty-five dollars ($25) that it costs to eat that one day. As this scenario reaches more and more households on a daily basis. The items and the price may change, but the costs and results stay the same. This leads to the second point. All over the world people are getting frustrated and giving up on their budget, claiming budgeting does not work. Without realizing it trying to create the perfect budget, we forget to account for Murphy’s law. So what do you do? Stick to it! Account for the unexpected in your budget. Don’t try to make a perfect budget, take it one month at a time. Here are some pointers from Dave Ramsey- The Truth About Budgeting.
Give it three to four months to start working. It won’t be perfect the first time you do it.
Spend every dime on paper before the month begins.
Over-fund your groceries category. Most people under fund that category.
Husbands (if applicable) need to loosen up and quit using the budget as a whipping tool on their wives.
If married, spouses need to do the budget together. The preacher said “… and you are ONE.”
Instead of relying on your credit card to fund expenditures that are not in your budget. Let’s get back to living within our means. Our grandparents and great grandparents had it right. Budget is not a four letter word, however it may be the four million dollar word if done correctly.

I’d Love to hear your thoughts and comments. You can post comments on my blog at http://www.corey-stokes.com