Corey Stokes

10 Things You will Never Do Again

When I think about my life and the direction it is going, I often refer to my mentors in order to stay on track. This week As I read through some of the articles on Success.com, One article in particular stood out. 10 things successful people never do! I know many times through out my day I am guilty of a few of these if not all of them. If you have not read the book, it is definitely one that I suggest you read.

1. Return to what hasn’t worked. Whether a job, or a broken relationship that was ended for a good reason, we should never go back to the same thing, expecting different results, without something being different.

2. Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?” If the answer is no to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed.

3. Try to change another person. When you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well.

4. Believe they can please everyone. Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people.

5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Once successful people know they want something that requires a painful, time-limited step, they do not mind the painful step because it gets them to a long-term benefit. Living out this principle is one of the most fundamental differences between successful and unsuccessful people, both personally and professionally.

6. Trust someone or something that appears flawless. It’s natural for us to be drawn to things and people that appear “incredible.” We love excellence and should always be looking for it. We should pursue people who are great at what they do, employees who are high performers, dates who are exceptional people, friends who have stellar character, and companies that excel. But when someone or something looks too good to be true, he, she, or it is. The world is imperfect. Period. No one and no thing is without flaw, and if they appear that way, hit pause.

7. Take their eyes off the big picture. We function better emotionally and perform better in our lives when we can see the big picture. For successful people, no one event is ever the whole story. Winners remember that – each and every day.

8. Neglect to do due diligence. No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent, and honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves.

9. Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is that in love and in life, in relationships and in business, successful people always ask themselves, what part am I playing in this situation? Said another way, they do not see themselves only as victims, even when they are.

10. Forget that their inner life determines their outer success. The good life sometimes has little to do with outside circumstances. We are happy and fulfilled mostly by who we are on the inside. Research validates that. And our internal lives largely contribute to producing many of our external circumstances

Take a look at your daily routines. Are you doing something that is a hindrance to your own success? Mistakes are going to happen, but remember every setback is merely a set up for you to succeed later. The Trick is to recognize those mistakes early and make every effort not to repeat them.

Question: Have you noticed habits that you know you need to change? if so, what are you doing to change them?

Resources : Never Go Back – Dr. Henry Cloud

Corey’s Money tip #1

Often I talk to people who tell me they have too much month left at the end of their money. They cannot see how they can begin to save their $1000 beginner emergency fund. In the same breath however, they will tell me they went out to eat and had a great lunch at one of the local restaurants.

This used to be me! When I started to move toward a cash only system, the first thing I changed was the amount of money I was spending on meal. In a matter of a month I was able to save $200!
$10 a day for lunch X 5 days X 4 weeks = $200. Brown bagging it allowed me to come up with my $1000 baby emergency fund in a short amount of time without much hassle.
Another added benefit to brown bagging it; As my bank account started to get bigger, so did my pants. Soon my pants were too big for me.

Try it for your self! Pack your lunch for a few months and put that money into an emergency fund. PB&J will never taste the same again!

Take the time to make your own lunch — Photo by Corey L. Stokes

A setback is a set up for a comeback!

I remember my Uncle, the pastor of the church I attended preaching a sermon that told us not to get defeated by our setbacks. He would say that your failure is Gods way of letting you know you that you need him. But all to often, we view our setbacks as our defeating moments. Those moments, are the moments that we are made into the people that we will be come. As Michael Hyatt said in his article Don’t quite before the whistle blows, it builds character. Here is how Michael Hyatt, using Heather (Dorniden) Kampf, describes how our setbacks help us to succeed in the future:

1. Our response builds our character. Very often in those moments where we are tempted to bail, our character is a stake. Character isn’t fixed. As Oscar Wilde said, it’s made and unmade by our decisions.
When we push through difficulty and see things to the end, we’re developing our character in a positive way. When the urge to walk off the field comes—and it will—ask yourself what kind of person you want to be.

2. Our response tests our true abilities. Whatever we think about ourselves or the future, if we walk off the track, we never really know what we’re capable of or what was truly possible.
Kampf could have finished without giving it her all, and no one probably would have noticed—except her. Instead, she marshaled her strength and found out what her true potential was.

And it surprised her. “That last 50 meters, I hit a gear that I never knew I had,” she said. A setback can bring out our best if we’ll play full out regardless.

3. Our response impacts others. Kampf was not just running for herself. She was running for her team, for her school, for her family and community. The impact of her decision was far-reaching—even down to us discussing it today.

If you haven’t seen the video of the race take a look, it is truly amazing. Life is a series of lessons that we need to learn, when we give up too soon, we rob ourselves of the development opportunity that would have come out of finishing. Whenever I experience a setback I remember my uncles words: A setback is a set up for a comeback.

Question: Have you experience a setback, but you didn’t give up? What was the outcome/Lessons learned from your experience?