Corey Stokes

Don’t let fear stop you. Just go for it!

Over the past few months, I’ve been kicking myself for not blogging like I wanted to. My inbox is full of completed and almost completed post that I’m sure would be of interest to many. Between studying the words of some of the greats, such as Earl Nightingale, Jim Rohn, Russell Conwell and Darren Hardy, and putting into practice the advice that each of these individuals give however, I was stuck trying to make sure the information that I provided to you was perfect. Despite Tim Ferris’s great advice that one great post monthly is better than two or three satisfactory posts per months, the fear of not being perfect kept me from posting at all. If there was anything that I have learned during my time of study it has been that action will get you further than inaction.

Over the past couple of months, here is what I’ve learned:

Waiting for perfection will get you nowhere! Michael Hyatt, in one of his blog posts, said that even he had to start to settle on good enough rather than perfect. Of course, you have to go through your work and make sure it looks professional, but, the longer you sit on it. the less like it is that you will make any additional progress. He told his listeners that sometimes you have to get over the fear of making a mistake, and just put it out there. The feedback that people give, on your mistakes will help you to improve.
Take frequent breaks! Burn-out will keep you from accomplishing your goal every time. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to start on a project or a workout routine but never actually complete the entire thing. I put so much into it in the beginning but never gets fully finished. While training for a marathon, I was reminded that slow and steady will finish the race. If you’ve worked on something constantly for nights on end and have not made any headway, put it down, do something else and come back to it later. The clarity of thought will help you have a new perspective.
And Finally, Just go for it! One of the very first podcasts that I started listening to said, If you do it, and no one is going to die, then just do it. Sometimes, we really need to put things into perspective. What is the harm in trying? Sometime,s we have a huge fear of failing and succeeding, that it causes us to be stagnant. We are caught in a loop of wanting to succeed, but at the same time being scared of that same success or failure. The one thing that I’ve found for sure is if you do nothing you definitely will not succeed at it. If no one is going to die, then just go for it.

What finished project have you been sitting on? has the fear of failing, been keeping you for moving forward? What about the fear of succeeding? Is that stopping you from taking any action? We must all stop looking at failure as the end result. Failure is merely the tool that life uses to tell you to try again. So take a breather and just go for it!

What did you want to be when you grew up?

“Daddy, when you were my age, what did you want to be when you grew up?” my son and my daughter asked me this questions at different points in their lives. My answer is the same for both, but, offers nothing in a way of an answer. “I’ve been working for nearly 20 years, and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!”

I suspect that I am not the only person that feels this way. Why else would there be such a huge market for books such as “Man’s Search for meaning”. Many authors have also dedicated at least a chapter of their manuscripts to answering the question, “How do I find my life’s calling?” The answers that they give provide no more of an answer than what I tell my children. Earl Nightingale tells us that we “will become what we think about.” Whereas, Robert Green tells us we come upon our life’s task as a matter of opportunity, natural skill, learning, and practice. For me, the advice usually leaves me still asking, what do I want to be when I grow up?

Truthfully, the only time that I felt close to finding my life’s calling, has been while I was coaching/mentoring and writing. My career in the military has been a journey to discover exactly what it is I truly want to do. During my career, I have been able to piece together bits and pieces of advice, that has gotten me to where I am today.

Here is what I’ve learned:

Be prepared to take advantage of the opportunity. We are surrounded by opportunity. But all too often we are not in a position to take advantage of it. This is why Earl Nightingale says, you should save ten percent of your income. So when the opportunity knocks on your door, you will be able to open the door.

Never stop learning. Your formal education is not the end of your education experience. I have learned much more from reading, research, and activities, after my formal schooling. The experience has truly been an eye opener.

Begin to journal every day. Throughout the course of our day, we keep a jumble of thoughts in our brains. Being able writing them down gives us the ability to make sense of our thoughts. It also provides you with a frame of reference of what you were thinking when you made a certain decision.

Learn to Set and accomplish goals. It has been said that humans are never happier than when they are working towards the completion of a goal. Goal completion builds confidence and a sense of achievement in life. Take advantage of this, set goals for yourself and watch your confidence grow pushing you to achieve more.

Develop a Mastermind. I read somewhere that Jesus set the example for us here with the first ever recorded Mastermind group. He surrounded himself with 12 men that he trusted. Creating your group will take on a slightly different format. Although, you should trust all members of your group, its focus is to foster the success of all members involved. Use this group to test ideas, get and give advice and to help each other succeed.

This, however, is not a road map for your success; it is the legend that tells you how to read your map. When I tell my children that I don’t yet know what I want to be when I grow up, I also offer these guidelines for them to use as a tool the conquer the world that they are about to enter. I tell them that finding what you want to be, is not about deciding who will provide you a paycheck, although that is also important. It is about finding the perfect mix of finding doing what you enjoy and being paid to do it.

Criticism

There are always going to be people who will try to convince you that you will fail. The question that you need to ask yourself is “are you going to let that determine what this next season in your life looks like?” -Dan Miller-

Avoiding criticism will only decrease your ability to do anything meaningful in your life. Don’t try to avoid the criticism of others, us that criticism to engage, perfect and to build your message and brand to become successful.