Corey Stokes

8 Resources To Deal With Change

With all that has been going on in my world, I have not had much time for anything of interest. I mentioned in my last posts that I am dealing with some changes. To that, I will say, the changes keep on coming. Just when I thought things were solidified and I would be able to go in one direction, I was hit with another change that moved me back in another direction. Some would say that I was “going through the storm.” Even though the last few months have rocked the boat a bit, I’ve learned that the situation doesn’t define you. At most, I can say I have a sound and tested contingency plan that actually works. Maybe in a future post, I will detail everything that has happened, but for now, I will say that just because a situation is rough right now doesn’t mean it has it will stay that way forever. For me, At most, the change that I’ve had to deal with has only kept me busy.

I’d like to share a list of resources that have guided me through the past couple of months. These are the books that have helped get me through some difficult times. The lesson that I learned in these pages aided and prepared me for dealing with change, as well as help me to determine which direction to move. Some have even help to give me a bit of perspective.

Who Moved My Cheese– by Spenser Johnson	The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck– By Mark Manson	Living Forward– By Michael Hyatt and Daniel Haravy	Eat that Frog– By Brian Tracy
Goals – by Zig Ziglar	As a Man Thinketh– by James Allen	Fearless– By Eric Blehm	The Longest Rescue – By Glenn Robins

To view a full list of Corey’s Resources visit my resources page

2018 Reading List

Welcome to 2018!

In 2017, I had the trip of a lifetime and also welcomed some big changes into my life. During the year I learned that not all of life’s changes are something to be feared. In fact, this lesson taught me all change brings new opportunities. In order to be ready for those opportunities, I needed to have a positive attitude toward change.

An opportunity that I have treasured over the last two years has been reading and listening to books with my children. We started in 2016 with the entire “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children series and in 2017 we completed the whole Percy Jackson series. This year, continuing our mythology theme, we are starting the Heros of Olympus series.

Also this year, I am embracing a new journey and I am endeavoring to have fun on this journey and to continue to learn from my mistakes. Happy New Year!

“With each failure, you move one step closer to success. It is only when you give up that you truly fail.” – Pat Flynn –

With this mantra in mind, as I prepare my own transition, here is what is on my reading list for 2018

Who moved my cheese – by Spencer Johnson

Tools of the Titans by Tim Ferris
Destiny by TD Jakes
Everything the bible says about money
The power of when – by Michael Breus
Secrets of a Passionate Marriage – by David Schnarch
Why Can’t you read my mind – by Jeff Bernstein
Daddy, where’s your vagina? – Joseph Schatz
Hard Choices – Hillary Clinton
Living an Empowered Life– Denise Lynch
The Measure of a man – Dr. Martin Luther King
Social Engineering – Christopher Hadngy

Every Single Day– by Bradly Charbonneau

TD Jakes Speaks to men – TD Jakes

Hit the Road Jack – by Willow Rose

Nalah’s Suggestions (Teen- Young Adult):

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe-Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Nolan’s Suggestions: (Pre-Teen)

Going wild – Lisa McMann

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Dealing with Change

written by Corey L. Stokes

I am not sure about you, but for me, this year has sped by. Of course with my extended vacation, more than half of my year was spent in another country. Shortly after I returned, from that trip, there has been a constant theme of change surrounding me. One of my favorite sayings that I like to say is, the only thing that is guaranteed in this world is that things will change. The only thing that we can do is fight it or embrace it. If you have ever tried to fight change, you know you are in for an uphill battle. With change holding the high ground.

Over the past few months, I have gone through a few things where my ability to cope with change has been put to the test. These changes have caused me to stop and think and ask myself, how do I deal with change?

Choose to go with the flow

One of my favorite leadership writers, John Maxwell, wrote, “if you are comfortable, you are not growing.” Change is that agitator that stirs things up in your life. Think about it. If you are stirring a pot of water, and quickly start stirring in the opposite direction, there is going to be some friction. Things will start to get rough as the change starts to move against the flow of the water. The water, however, will react by moving with the flow, and the friction will stop. Life changes are like this as well. The only difference is we have the ability to choose to resist the change or to go with the flow. The longer we fight against the current, the more turmoil we will seem to have.

Be flexible with your plan

One of my favorite DC characters says, “make a plan; execute the plan; expect the plan to go horribly wrong; throw the plan away.” One of the most frustrating things in the world to me is when I plan for things to go one way, and nothing I have planned works out. Change has a way of getting in the way like that. Recently, when asked how am I dealing with so much change at one time. I replied, “until my plan fails, I am executing my plan.” In an article in the Huffington Post, Lisabeth Saunders Medlock, Ph.D. writes, “Our ability to adapt is amazing.” At the same time, however, people have the tendency to be stubborn when it comes to change. We expect things to go the way we plan. What we don’t do, though, is have a plan for when things to fail. If we had the ability to see the outcomes of every decision that we make, we’d always be one step ahead of change. Since we have not yet developed that ability, be flexible with your plans. Execute them until it fails and when they fail, create a new plan based on the relevant information.

Have a Mastermind

Only ever have one perspective, will lead to only having one way to solve a problem. But a support system will make moving through change a faster process by providing varying perspectives. Most of the time, for me, I am so caught up with executing my plan that, I cause the friction in the water. Having a group of trusted individuals provides multiple experiences, to be able to adapt, however, those experiences do not necessarily have to come from people. Michael Hyatt once said on his podcast, if you have not created a trusted advisory board then you can start one using books, podcasts, and articles. Changes are there is someone who has written or spoken about the change that you are going through and their ideas, solutions, and thought are available for the taking.

Exercise to reduce stress

Is dealing with change what is stressful, or is dealing with the stress that change causes, that is most troublesome? Arguments can be made supporting both theories, but I surmise that is the reaction to both stress and the change that will help you cope. Generally, for me, there is nothing that a long run or a hard workout will not cure. This gives me the opportunity to step away from the stressor, and focus on something else. Scientifically speaking, stress is a form of energy. It cannot be destroyed. But, you can transform it from a negative energy to a positive one.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past few years of my career, it is that change is inevitable. Dealing with that change, though it often does cause stress, is a choice that each person has to make. When life seems like it is spiraling out of control because of change, the only sure way to manage that spiral is by controlling how you deal with the change.