EP03: Catching up with Kelsey

In this episode, Corey catches up with local entrepreneur and mentor Kelsey Messinger, owner of the Delano-based retail shop, Bungalow 26. Kelsey shares her journey of turning a passion for aromatherapy and home decor into a thriving wholesale and retail business, revealing her personal, non-glamorous definitions of success, the discipline required to sustain a creative venture, and the lessons learned from failure.

3 Key Takeaways from the Conversation

1. Success is Defined by Financial Stability, Not Glamour (Capital)

Kelsey shared that her personal marker of success wasn’t achieving a certain revenue target or buying a luxury item, but rather achieving financial stability. She humorously defined it as being able to buy all four tires for her car at the same time without stress. Kelsey stressed that money is important in a modern society, not to get rich, but to provide a foundational sense of peace, security, and the ability to be genuinely generous. This aligns directly with the Core5 principle of managing Capital (resources) for endurance.

2. Consistency is the Creative Entrepreneur’s Secret Weapon (Consistency)

Despite having an “artist brain” that naturally resists structure, Kelsey stated that the single biggest habit she had to establish was consistency and a strict schedule. She noted that in the creative and retail fields, it’s easy to “go off in a billion different ways” and get many projects 75% done. Her discipline—being regimented and sticking to a working schedule—is what ultimately keeps her business moving and generating income, proving that for entrepreneurs, discipline must always beat fleeting motivation.

3. Failure is the Beginning, Not the End (Courage & Control)

When asked for advice for her younger self, Kelsey recommended doing homework and not being intimidated by the money and management side of the business. She confessed to making many mistakes early on, which resulted in wasted time and money, and left her feeling taken advantage of. Her powerful takeaway is that failure should not be viewed as the end, but as the beginning—the source of learning that teaches you how to move over, around, or through obstacles.

More on Kelsey Messinger

You can find Kelsey and her shop at Bungalow 26 in the Delano district of Wichita, Kansas (613 West Douglas), or online at bungalow26.com.

Kelsey Metzinger can be found :

Ticktok:

Instagram: @Bungalow26

Website: www.bungalow26.com

Physical Address: 613 Westr Douglass Wichita KS.

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Intro by AlanaJordan. Find more here! http://www.pixabay.com/music/motown-old-school-rnb-a-piece-of-the-pie-316619/

Outro By  ⁨@TheJaReneHealing⁩  and TraumaCenter

Catching up with Corey is a NalahMonet Production, and you can get in contact with them at www.nalahmonet.com

Why Goal-Free Joy Is The Ultimate Investment You Can Make

Written by Corey L. Stokes

The term “Mission Creep” typically refers to military or business objectives—a project that gradually expands beyond its original scope. But how often does it happen to our leisure time?

If you’re like me, despite the dismay of your spouse, you’ve probably turned every vacation, hobby, or weekend into a new source of production. A “relaxing” trip becomes a quest for the perfect itinerary. A fun run becomes a race against a PR. We constantly try to justify our rest by attaching a goal to it.

If no one has told you this before, let me be the first: Doing things this way is the fastest path to burnout. Sure, there are times when it can’t be helped, but that mission creep way of thinking is a systemic failure rooted in a faulty mindset that says, “If you aren’t producing, you’re failing.”

I recently took a solo trip to Colorado Springs with one non-negotiable goal: to experience complete joy, fun, and recuperation. No work, all fun, all play. Fun without an agenda isn’t a luxury—it’s the ultimate strategic investment.

The Tale of Two Activities: Grind and Game

My trip provided two perfect examples of control (the grind) and Clarity (the restoration):

1. The Discipline of the Grind: Hiking Garden of the Gods

We often feel a sense of loss of control throughout our daily lives. In an effort to regain some control, I took a hike along an extensive trail and walked around the beautiful rock formations of the Garden of the Gods. It was hard work, but it’s the work that fuels our professional and physical growth.

This is the success metric that society loves: Movement leads to progress.

2. The Restoration of the Mindset: Army vs Air Force Football Game

On the other end of the spectrum was the pure, unadulterated pleasure of attending the Army vs. Air Force Football game at Falcon Stadium. There was no goal here. There was no measurable output. It was an activity for the sake of the emotion it provided: pure joy.

I even took time to walk around and enjoy being on the installation of the Air Force Academy itself. In the 23+ years that I’d served in the military, I’d never been to the Academy, yet I’d often heard about it from officers discussing their commissions. Being there gave me a profound sense of connection and joy.

Why is this essential? Because without this restoration, maintaining a level of control becomes a chore. When you don’t allow yourself to let go and have fun, course-correcting becomes a reactive response instead of a proactive choice. The Army/Air Force game was a time to stop optimizing, calculating, and producing, and I simply was.

This experience is a direct investment in your well-being and your Capital. Capital is more than money; it’s your energy, your focus, and your attention. Without restoration, your energy and ability to give your all are depleted, and the grind becomes a chore. By replenishing emotional fuel, this restoration becomes critical for maintaining Clarity.

The Strategic Power of Recuperation and Control

The insight I gained is that being able to step away has a direct impact on how you present yourself in the world. It dictates your ability to operate efficiently.

  • It protects Capital: It stops the draining expense of “incompletion loops” and decision fatigue.
  • It sharpens Clarity: By stepping away, you allow creative solutions to problems to surface without conscious effort, ensuring your return to work is focused and purpose-driven.

My aim to focus on relaxing and recuperating was successful, not because I wandered into it, but because I exercised control, even in letting go to focus on something other than goal-driven success. I stopped trying to force the answers. I deliberately pulled back and defined success on my terms.

The most strategic thing you can do this week is schedule an hour of non-productive, true, aimless pleasure. Do something purely for the fun of it. The returns on that investment of energy will exceed any extra hour you tried to squeeze out of your already depleted reserves.

Life is too short not to enjoy it. This realization helped me to realize that rest and self-definition are the keys to avoiding burnout, which is the core philosophy behind my personal success blueprint.

Introduction to the Core5 Success Framework

Before leaving for Colorado Springs, I was contemplating how to encapsulate my story and endeavors into a principle…A framework that has helped me throughout my journey. By the time I came back, this is what I’d come up with. The Core5 Success Framework is a way of operating that has helped me reclaim control over my life and build success entirely on my own terms, and I’m sure it can do the same for you. It integrates the necessity of the daily grind with the importance of rest, ensuring you are energized and always ready to tackle what lies ahead.

The framework consists of five interdependent disciplines:

  1. Clarity: The foundational principle of defining what success, fulfillment, and happiness look like for you in this specific season of your life.
  2. Courage: The willingness to initiate the difficult first steps toward your clearly defined objective.
  3. Consistency: The replacement for fleeting motivation, establishing the unbreakable daily rhythm that generates exponential, long-term results (the Grind).
  4. Capital: The strategic management of your finite resources—time, focus, energy, and money. This is the resource that recuperative leisure is designed to replenish.
  5. Control: The deliberate architecture of your systems and environment, ensuring that your life is structured to support your Clarity, freeing you from managing chaos.

By embracing the Core5, I stopped chasing external benchmarks and started executing my personal mission with focus and effectiveness. It’s time to build a life where both your work and your joy serve your highest vision.

Reflections: The 5 M’s of Success and The Lost Art of Having Fun

Welcome to this edition of Reflections! As our days grow shorter and the air feels crisper, it’s the perfect time to reflect on our goals—both professional and personal—and consider whether we’re genuinely enjoying the journey. October invites us to move with a sense of purpose and renewed focus. Not just because of the cooler temperatures outside, but also because of the end-of-year timeline to accomplish the goals we set out to achieve at the beginning of the year.  This month, I’m exploring the keys to success and wondering if, in our relentless pursuit of goals, we’ve forgotten how to simply have fun. Let’s dive in!

What I am Reading.

I’m continuing my journey through “Unbreakable Valor” by Shaun Murphy. This month, I’m paying close attention to the chapter on the 5 M’s of Success, a framework that has been invaluable in shaping my thoughts on purpose, progress, and resilience. This simple but powerful framework consists of Mindset, Motivation, Massive Movement, Money, and Management. It’s a holistic approach to success that moves beyond simple ambition and into a more deliberate, actionable way of life.

Let’s break down each of the 5 M’s and why they’re so crucial:

  • Mindset: Before you can achieve anything, you must first believe it’s possible. Your mindset is the foundation of all your actions. It’s the belief that you can overcome challenges, learn from failures, and ultimately, succeed. Shaun’s story is a testament to how shifting your mindset from one of scarcity and limitation to one of possibility and purpose can literally change the trajectory of your life. This isn’t just about positive thinking; it’s about developing a core set of beliefs that empower you to take action, even when the odds seem stacked against you.
  • Motivation: Once the mindset is in place, you need the fuel to keep going. Motivation is that internal drive that pushes you forward, especially on the days when it feels like everything is an uphill battle. It’s about connecting your goals to a deeper purpose that holds meaning for you personally. Is your goal to provide a better life for your family? Is it to create something that helps others? Finding that internal “why” is what keeps you from giving up when things get tough.
  • Massive Movement: This is where the magic happens. All the mindset and motivation in the world are useless without action. Massive movement is about taking consistent, deliberate steps toward your goal. It’s not just about doing something, but about doing the right things with intensity and purpose. It’s the difference between thinking about going to the gym and actually showing up every day. It’s grit and perseverance that turn an idea into a reality.
  • Money: In our society, money is often a key component of success, as it provides the freedom and resources to pursue your goals without the constant stress of survival. However, as Shaun’s framework suggests, money is not the first or most important part of the equation—it’s a result of having the right mindset, motivation, and taking massive movement. This M is about understanding money as a tool to fuel your purpose, not as the purpose itself. It’s about building a financial foundation that supports your ideal life, rather than being controlled by financial worries.
  • Management: Finally, once you have momentum and money, you need the skills to manage it all effectively. This M is about managing your time, energy, resources, and relationships. It’s about building sustainable systems that allow you to maintain your success over the long term. This prevents burnout and ensures that the success you’ve worked so hard for doesn’t crumble due to poor planning or a lack of self-care.

Shaun Murphy’s 5 M’s provide a clear, practical roadmap for anyone looking to achieve their goals. It’s a framework that reminds us that success is built from the inside out and that a strong foundation in mindset and motivation is essential for creating lasting change. This is something that I’m continuing to explore as I discuss what Success looks like in our lives.

Something I Found Interesting

While reading about Shaun’s 5 M’s of Success, what I found most interesting is how interconnected they are. You can’t have one without the others. What he labels the 5 M’s of success aren’t steps to be completed in isolation; they are a continuous loop. For example, your mindset directly influences your motivation, which then fuels your massive movement. The money you earn is a result of that movement, and your ability to manage it all determines if your success is temporary or sustainable.

This framework really resonates with the idea that our biggest breakthroughs often come from a complete overhaul of our perspective, rather than just a new technique or a lucky break. It’s a reminder that true, lasting success isn’t about hacks or shortcuts. It’s about a deliberate, step-by-step commitment to becoming the person who can achieve their goals, which starts long before any visible progress is made.

The 5 M’s teach us that the real work is internal. It’s in the way we think, the way we push ourselves, and the way we handle the fruits of our labor. It’s a call to action that starts with self-reflection and a profound understanding of what we truly want and why.

What am I pondering?

Achievement isn’t everything. Just as big as the “Productivity” industry is the “Find Balance” industry. This continuous pursuit of goals and success, while vital, has led me to ponder something a little different this month. I’ve been thinking about how we no longer tend to do things just for the fun of it. Everything seems to have a goal or a purpose attached to it– A scheme; a way to make money; or advance our position– Do we do anything just for the fun of it?

When we pick up a book, it’s often to “learn a new skill”, or “discover a new secret.” When we go to the gym, it’s to hit a “fitness goal.” Our vacations are meticulously planned to “build memories” or “get the perfect photo for social media.” We’ve become so focused on optimizing every single moment that we’ve lost the simple pleasure of doing something just because we enjoy it. The fun of it, is no longer the purpose; it’s a byproduct, if it happens at all.

So, I’m pondering: Do we still know how to have fun? When was the last time you did something with no other goal than to experience joy? No expectation, no purpose, no desired outcome—just pure, unadulterated enjoyment. It’s something I want to revisit and something I encourage you to consider as well. Let’s make this the month we rediscover the art of play.

Money Tip I Recommend:

How to Create a Budget and Stick to It – This month, as we return to fun, let’s also revisit the basics and master the art of budgeting.

If things didn’t go the way you hoped they would this year, it may be time to revisit budgeting. A budget is simply a plan for how you’ll spend your money each month. It’s a powerful tool that helps you track your income and expenses, save money, and reach your financial goals. …And oh yeah, schedule in some time to have a little fun! The process doesn’t have to be complicated. The simplest method is often the best.

Here’s a quick guide to getting started, based on my blog post “How to Create a Budget and Stick to It“:

  • List Your Bills and Income: Begin by listing all of your monthly bills, debts, and expenses. Next, write down your total take-home income for the month.
  • Prioritize: Subtract each payment from your income until you have no money left. If you find that your bills exceed your income, you need to prioritize. Always cover your “Four Walls” first: shelter (rent/mortgage), transportation, utilities, and food.
  • Handle Your Debts: After covering the essentials, list your debts from smallest to largest and make the minimum payments on each. Apply any remaining money to the smallest debt, a strategy that helps build momentum and motivation.

As you build your budget, keep a few things in mind to make the process easier and more effective:

  • Don’t Try to Create the Perfect Budget: Your first budget won’t be perfect. Don’t let the pressure of getting it exactly right stop you from starting. The goal is progress, not perfection. You can adjust it as you go.
  • Budget for the Current Period Before the Period Begins: It’s a lot easier to stick to a plan when you’ve already made the decisions. Take an hour or two at the end of each month to budget for the next one. This provides a clear roadmap and helps prevent impulsive spending.
  • Build an Emergency Fund: My post suggests setting aside a small “baby emergency fund” of $500-$1000 in cash. Do this before you start tackling any of your larger debts. This is your first line of defense against unexpected expenses, keeping you from derailing your budget and incurring new debt.
  • Be Patient with Yourself: Learning to budget is a skill that takes time to master. Don’t get discouraged by setbacks. Acknowledge them, learn from them, and get back on track.

Creating a budget is an act of empowerment. It is not supposed to be limiting. It’s a way to take control of your financial life and align your spending with your values and goals. If you view budgeting as limiting, might I suggest revisiting the 5 M’s of success before you get started?

Let’s Talk!

What are your thoughts? Have you read Unbreakable Valor by Shaun Murphy? how do you view his 5 M’s of success? When was the last time you did something just for fun? share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you.

If you’re ready to take your financial goals seriously and build a solid plan, I’d be happy to help. Schedule a free coaching consultation with me today: https://calendar.app.google/oEyuikwjDLMoPxtf7

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Let’s spread the word about building a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Resources:

Unbreakable Valor by Shaun Murphy

How to Create a Budget and Stick to It (Blog Post: https://corey-stokes.com/2023/05/13/how-to-create-a-budget-and-stick-to-it/)