What Does Success Really Look Like?

written by Corey L. Stokes

The word “success” gets thrown around a lot. I mean A WHOLE LOT!

We see it in job titles, on social media, in awards, promotions, and material gains. We seek it in all our endeavors — both personal and professional. But if you take a moment to sit still—just you and your thoughts—what really defines success for you?

That’s the question I’ve wrestled with for quite a while. From my time in the military, even today. It’s also the question that sparked the idea for my new podcast, Catching Up with Corey. With this podcast, I’m not only reaching back to talk to people who I viewed as having the success I wanted, but I’m also reaching out to people around me who just exude an air of success. I want to know their definition, habits, and methods for dealing with both success and failure. In our very first episode, I sit down with someone who knows me better than most—my daughter and producer, Nalah Monet—and she immediately flips the script on me. Instead of me doing the asking, she puts me on the hot seat… And it’s only the first episode!

Her first question? “Daddy, what does success mean to you?”

I’ve worn a lot of hats in my life—veteran, blogger, father, husband—and like many of you, I’ve experienced both the pride of hitting goals and the quiet frustration of feeling like they didn’t mean as much as I hoped they would. I shared with Nalah that the moment I retired from the military was one of the clearest instances in my life where I felt I had done it. I had set a goal, worked relentlessly, and saw it through to the end. According to society’s standards—and frankly, my own at the time—I had succeeded, I was a success.

But then Nalah challenged me. She asked not just about what I’ve achieved, but how those achievements made me feel—and if my understanding of success might evolve as I continued these conversations with others. And that’s when the real heart of the podcast emerged.

You see, this show isn’t about glorifying hustle culture or highlighting millionaires. Catching Up with Corey is about unpacking the profoundly personal and often unconventional paths we all take in pursuit of our dreams. In this first episode, we explore how success isn’t always something you can touch or quantify—it’s a feeling, a mindset, a quiet knowing that you’re moving toward something meaningful, even if nobody else sees it.

I also reflect on moments when, by traditional standards, I shouldn’t have felt successful, such as when I was consistently blogging to an audience of nine people who didn’t comment or provide any engagement, but I still did. Why? Because I was doing something I loved, and I was doing it for me. While I hope that my work touches and encourages others, I can’t force them to engage. All I can do is do the work that I love and enjoy.

This podcast is for anyone who has ever set a goal, doubted themselves along the way, and kept going anyway. It’s for those defining or redefining what “making it” means on their own terms.

So, before Episode 1 drops, I invite you to ask yourself: What does success actually look like in your life? Is it a title? A feeling? A completed project? Or simply the courage to try?

I hope you’ll tune in, reflect with us, and maybe even define or redefine your own version of success.

Let’s catch up.

– Corey

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