My daughter asked me, “Daddy, have you ever received a cold hard slap in the face?” She was curious if I had a story that would relate to what she had just read in the book that she is reading, 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. I confided in her about how I felt that I was not good enough to be the head of our family; and how my cold hard slap came when it was time for me to provide and I wasn’t able to do so. I explained to her how I had put all my hopes into the image of happiness that I was sold, only to realize that it was that image that was feeding and causing my fears. Much more interested in my story, she wanted to know what I did to overcome this “FEAR”. In truth, I told her, it is a fear that I live with every day. The fear that a decision that I make will cause harm to those that I love most in this world.
We continued on through the book but, never really revisited the discussion of my fear. Not wanting to leave the discussion with her unanswered question, I told her, you get over it by not letting fear define you.
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Over the years, I have learned that I could only change what I had control over. I don’t have control over what anyone else does. The only thing I can do is, make the decision that I can live with and make course corrections as I go. In short, I told her that I don’t let fear paralyze me. I always make the best decision that I can make.
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As she read in her book, in order to get there, you have to be confident in your own ability to make decisions. You cannot however, reach that level of confidence if you are afraid to take the next step. Each decision you make will build your own trust in your ability to make better decisions. You have to be willing to try, you have to be willing to get it wrong and most importantly you must be willing to learn from your mistakes.
As I told my daughter, don’t let fear define you! Remember:
- Try!
- If you make the attempt, but you fail, learn from your mistakes!
- Then try again.
That is the only way to overcome fear.
Corey Stokes 